It Hurts

  I think whenever people go, they always have this obligation to judge people. You might not know it, but when we first see a person, we subconsciously judge their looks, and instantly figure out the character of the person. That's why when you go to job interviews, you want to look pristine and formal because you want to have a good first impression. However, this judging gets too much.

  At school, all that I ever hear from people is their opinions about others, we do it because we enjoy it, undermining people and pick out the bad things about them. I have to admit, I do too sometimes. To be frank, we all do. As I mentioned over and over, we are eternally interested in ourselves. If we want ourselves to feel better, we tend to speak bad things about other people who you think are worse than you, then you'll feel more confident and superior. Don't you ever think when you speak out an opinion, you suddenly feel so much better? You like picking the negatives in people, the feeling is great and sometimes people get carried away with it...

  I was playing Paranoia with a group of friends, the games was to write down mean questions and put them in a jar, when you receive a question, you have to say the name of the person that is the answer to the question, if the person wants to know what the question was, they have to shout Paranoia. You only have three chances to say Paranoia. To my surprise, the majority of the answers were my name, I didn't know if it was a good thing or a bad thing but I soon found out. I shouted Paranoia to one of the questions and the question was 'Who would you kick out from your friendship group?'. The feeling was strange, the feeling that everything was a lie, everything that I contributed to my 'friends' wasn't appreciated, it was like I just don't belong. I knew it was just a game but sometimes, these comments, it hurts. I couldn't even imagine what I would have felt if the comment was genuine and was spoken to in my face. Even though these mean comments might not be true, people disregard it and take it the wrong way. I remember I was crying so much that night, thinking about all the effort I made to make friends and trying so hard to fit in, those mean comments kept whispering inside my head. I admit, I am a sensitive soul, but who isn't?

 Making these comments is what causes depression in people, because they feel cheated and they have nowhere to turn to. Even though you are saying it behind their backs, the word will spread and the person will find out eventually. Just imagine, if one day the person you despised became your best friends because you found out their true self but then they found out that you were talking behind their backs before, you instantly lose their trust and friendship, isn't that a shame.

  Therefore, you have no right to make a comment on a person unless you know them inside out, if you don't, then that's just a mean rumour. Yes, some people have characteristics that are hateful, but that doesn't mean you have to talk behind their backs, that won't change their character but in fact make it get worse, you're not doing any favours here. Tell the person directly, tell her what's wrong with her attitude in a nice way and they will reflect, try to give them a second chance to prove their true self instead of hurting them.  I think everybody deserves a second opportunity..

  

That Bully

  I’ve come to notice that bullying has become quite common, whether if it’s on the Internet, or physically in school. The proper definition of a bully is someone who uses strength and influence to harm or intimidate those who are weaker. Those people are selfish and they feel good when they bully people, it gives them a sense of power and satisfaction, and it is addicting.

 

  I was really lucky to have not yet had this experience of being bullied but I always feel compassion when I see posts on social media about bullying, I feel it’s very unfair and unjust, it drives people to a corner where there are no options of escape, I cannot dare to think how horrible that feeling is. Even though I’m not somebody in the position to give advice, I still want to put out some points to the victims out there. Don’t be silent about it, silence is like a cancer grows, if you stay silent about it, all those mean comments will keep on bothering your mind and you’ll become really self-conscious and depressed. You don’t necessarily have to tell a physical person, just write it out in your diary or on a blog, something to express your feelings.

  All bullies bully because they have their insecurities, mostly I think is because they want to be cool and be popular, people enjoy attention as I’ve mentioned in my previous post, their insecurity is losing friends and popularity, and mostly attention. If you know an insecurity of the bully that bullies you, pick on that, intimidate them, write a post-it and stick it on their locker, if you’re brave enough, say it in their face. Another way is to make them embarrassed in front of public, crack a joke in front of them and make them look bad. You don’t have to be afraid to speak up because there are no rankings between people, you and them are on the same level, both human beings, it’s just that ones more confident than the other, just because they have more friends to support them doesn’t mean that they are more superior than you. Step up.

  I guarantee you that if you avoid them by changing schools or by any other way, it won’t let the problem resolve. When you go into the new school, you’ll still have this insecurity that people will mock you and you become skeptical of people, unable to show you true self. If you let all those bullies go away, you’re confidence will rise and I bet then you won’t be the weakest person in school.  Don’t give up when you’re down because you have an amazing life upon you and it is not worth it to be worrying over some stupid comments that aren’t even true. Design your own life, and don’t others design it for you…

  And for bullies that are reading this post, pulling down someone doesn’t mean it’ll put you in a higher position, so stop bullying.